


Things Left Unsaid

by AussieWriter1



Category: Victoria (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, I'm so sorry, Melbourne reflects, Post 2x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 15:32:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AussieWriter1/pseuds/AussieWriter1
Summary: After the final goodbye between Victoria and Melbourne, the ex-Prime Minister is left alone with his gift, reflecting on things that were and things that might have been.





	Things Left Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed that just before Victoria said her final goodbye to Melbourne, it looked as though he opened his mouth to say something. This is what I hope he was about to say.

_I was going to tell her I loved her._

Melbourne collapsed heavily into the chair behind him, staring at the space Victoria had just occupied. She had come to say goodbye, he knew that. Just as he knew that Prince Albert would not keep his illness from the Queen. As much as he could not bring himself to tell her, a small selfish part of him wanted her to know. Wanted her to come running, to tell him that she would never forget him. 

A smaller part, one that he barely revealed even to himself, wished for her to tell him that she had made a mistake. That she regretted letting him go, even though he was the one who had stepped back and allowed room between them for Albert to step into.

Pushing those thoughts away violently - for truly, what good would come of them now - Melbourne focused his gaze upon the parting gift Victoria had given him. The small rook sat silent now, waiting patiently for his hand to wind the small mechanism that would set it off once again. It seemed to know that its time to move would come soon, and Melbourne let a tiny smile grace his features. He could empathise; he had been waiting for the inevitable for some time now. The inevitability of his quickly approaching demise should have terrified him, as it used to. And maybe it still did, Melbourne mused. But it had lessened significantly now he had properly said goodbye to his last great love.

Staring at the bird, Melbourne reflected on the similarities between them. They both had a life, and they both had a purpose. From the moment they moved, they began to fulfil their purpose. And when their purpose was completed, they ceased moving. The only difference being that while the small bird’s mechanical heart could restart at any moment, the heart of the man watching it could not.

Moving his eyes once more to the doorway, Melbourne felt his heart ache as he stupidly fantasised about Victoria returning, having decided that she wouldn’t going to let him go without a fight. But the door stood still, silently mocking his fantasises, remaining closed. 

Staring at the eloquent carvings on the wood, Melbourne was reminded of a different door, just as solid and yet entirely metaphorical in nature. It was the one that opened when Victoria became Queen, when he met her that first morning in her study. Melbourne smiled, remembering how beautiful and strong she had been, despite her youth and inexperience. That particular door had remained open for years, despite his attempts to close it during the commotion around the Jamaica bill, and the incident that had become known as the Bedchamber Crisis. Melbourne had first felt it beginning to close of its own accord the moment he turned down Victoria’s marriage proposal. It began to hasten its movements when Prince Albert strode into the palace, but Melbourne had resisted, keeping it open as long as he could.

It was shut firmly on the day of Victoria and Albert’s marriage, swinging closed with the words ‘Goodbye Lord M’ and ‘Goodbye Ma’am’ flittering through the gap before it closed forever. Forever - or so he had thought. Thinking back now, Melbourne supposed he should have let it remain so. Perhaps responding to Victoria's letters and answering her summons, despite his increasing illness, was the wrong thing to do. It edged that door open once more, if only a fraction. But despite his better judgement, Melbourne couldn’t hate himself for returning to the palace, to Victoria’s life. He knew he would have regretted it far more if he had moved on without a proper goodbye.

But was this a proper goodbye, with things still left unsaid? Surely Victoria knew he still cared deeply for her. Surely she knew that he had loved her from the moment he had met her, and would continue to do so until the moment he died?

Melbourne scrunched his eyes closed, hating the uncertainty of the word ‘surely’. She didn’t know, because he never told her. Could never have told her. But even so, he was going to tell her before she cut him off. Was it for the best, he wondered? Yes, it must have been. Victoria might not have known the exact words that would pass his lips, but she certainly knew they would be important enough to warrant her quickly saying farewell and retreating from the room, leaving him broken and alone once more.

Perhaps, Melbourne thought as he opened his eyes to stare at the rook, some things were better left unsaid. If he had told her he loved her, the words would have belonged to the room, to the walls, to history, to the air between them. In leaving them unsaid, the love remained only between them, to carry in their hearts, forever.

The end of his forever was rapidly approaching, he knew. Reaching forward, Melbourne turned the dial on the edge of the metal cage. Once it had been rotated a satisfactory amount of times, the ex-Prime Minister settled back into his chair. Resting his weight on his right side, his stronger side, Melbourne watched and listened as the small bird began it’s song anew. Its life was only beginning.

Lord Melbourne did not hear the song end.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry. I know that Daisy Goodwin has left it open for Melbourne to possibly return in the Christmas special, but this was a fitting end for the character in my opinion, especially since I'm not sure I would survive watching Melbourne die. Considering how much I cried watching this episode, seeing his actual death would probably destroy me. Anyway, hope you liked this, and let's all just huddle up and drown ourselves in fanfiction shall we aha.


End file.
